Chenai Chambers

Just Take Yourself On The Date

When we turn on our TVs or watch a movie, we are constantly bombarded with relationships with a significant other. Even from a young age, Disney and Pixar films introduce to us what relationships are and how they are often a source of happiness and fulfillment. While being coupled up is awesome and can be fulfilling, if the seeds of love aren’t being sown internally within you first, it can cause problems, not just with you but also in your relationships with your partner, family and friends. It can be so easy to lose ourselves in relationships, changing who we are and neglecting our own sense of self in the mix of it all.

Even if you’re single, it can also be easy to indirectly think that okay, if I secure a partner, I will be happy and I will have less things to worry about which we know of course, is not true. Before you can get into all of that, your self love (agape) needs to be powerful – Confident and comfy being by yourself, without needing the love of another to prove your self worth. So without further ado, let’s get into it – Taking yourself on a date!

What kind of places make you happy?

Black Girl Magic

In the process of deciding to take yourself on a date, it can be quite daunting. If you’re someone who has a lot of friends, constantly planning your next motive or is constantly on the move, meeting new friends, having this time by yourself, doing solely what makes you happy can perhaps be a bit of a task and requires you to pay full attention to what is going on as to make it an enjoyable experience.

Think about yourself and what you enjoy to do. Taking yourself on a date is not especially about trying to replicate a date scenario by yourself, it is more about treating yourself the way you wish to be treated so that when the future bae comes along, you aren’t about to take any less than what you deserve. Do you enjoy movies, parks, a nice dinner date… Maybe even a quick weekend getaway? You shouldn’t have to wait and wait and wait for you to do things that you enjoy. Enjoy your own company fully and wholeheartedly, not thinking that this moment is not complete because you haven’t got someone to share it with.

Let go of self consciousness

30 Rock

Now this is obviously easier said than done but bear with me here. When you are in a setting that you may usually associate with having a partner such as a nice restaurant, it can be very normal to feel a bit awkward and cringe-y but let your agape love stand the test of time. Don’t look for someone else to make the date amazing, you may always be looking for the right person to complete you when the only person you really need is you.

Revel in that anonymity where no one knows your name, take this time to breathe, be mindful, think, let go of the weeks stresses. This is essentially more than just a date, it is quality time, recovery time and for my introverts, it is a time to completely renew your energy. Don’t be scared of doing it by yourself. *Queues in Beyonce – Me Myself and I*

Give yourself some quality time

Girl Getting On Subway

Leading on from above, this is more than just a date and even though I may have made reference to being in relationships or being single, taking yourself on a date it isn’t about that. This is about treating yourself the way you deserve to be treated and making yourself a priority and removing the pressure from anyone else to make you happy.

This is about taking some time to yourself to discover what gives you the most joy and fulfillment. The world can be a harsh busy place, with no care for peoples self care routines or individual needs. In a way, taking yourself on a date is a statement, saying that I am taking some time out to properly put my needs and wants first. This is MY time for me to take care of me – You cannot run on a empty engine, you need to do what you want to do sometimes.

This article was originally published on Chenai’s blog, Your Wellness Blog. Photos via (1,2,3,4)

Chenai was a 21 year old student studying sociology when she completed a year of work experience in London. It was there that she discovered the world of wellness. In a chaotic world filled with stress, she realized that everyone needs to have a self-care and routine to stay sane. By fueling your body in the right way and having the right routine, it is very possible to stay positive, happy and heal…

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