Are Your Wants Keeping You Stuck?

By Caley Philipps May 4, 2015

My wants and I have been going through a major growing phase lately. Major.

I used to do this thing where I put all my wants into the same category. Maybe you can relate?

If I thought it, I called it a want. Didn’t matter if it was to marry Johnny Depp, attend grad school, swim in the Olympics or have a pet dog. A want was a want—as far as I was concerned.

Now, thanks to my Law of Attraction tutelage, I see- so clearly– that not all wants are the same. AND lumping ‘em all together…. well that’s what keeps us stuck.

See, wants really fall into two categories: wishes + desires.

Wishes are light, airy, dream-like.

They sound good. (Often too good to be true.)
They feel attractive and totally unattainable. Which creates their draw.
They’re external. Just outside your reach.
And while it’d be nice if they happened, the dream of them happening is way better than the reality.

Desires, on the other hand, are a yearning that comes from within you.

They’re solid, driven, viable.
There’s action, fire + passion when you think ‘em.
They feel possible. Attainable.
And achieving them feels better than dreaming of them.

Wishes sound good- and we have zero intention of putting energy into them. (Hello Johnny Depp)
While desires we can’t help but energy into. (Hello grad school)

When we mix these guys up, when we call our wishes desires, we send ourselves BIG TIME mixed messages. Which leads to all kinds of dropped balls. Herky jerky planning. And oodles of self-judgment.

But, when we know the difference between a wish and a desire we can align ourselves with our true desires (hello grad school) and let our wishes be exactly what they are- awesome daydream material (hello Johnny Depp).

Knowing the difference between these two will save you time, energy, face with yourself AND keep you moving forward. Even if it’s to fantasy-land for just a few hours. (Hey, everyone needs an occasional break!)

Here are 4 simple questions to help you figure out if you’re dealing with a wish or a desire:

1. Am I willing to put energy into creating this?
2. How much energy?
3. Am I willing to be challenged, to step outside my comfort zone, to achieve this?
4. What am I going to do when it gets hard?

**Please, don’t judge your wants that turn out to be wishes. Celebrate ‘em! Not only are they great daydream material; they also mean you’ve got way more room on your plate to go after what you truly desire.

It’s a win-win in my book!

*This post was originally published on Caley’s website, Life Purpose Coaching. For more from Caley visit

Image via ImgKid.

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